Are You There, God? It's Me, in Menopause by Carol King | Book Review

Why I read it: I don’t read a ton of nonfiction. But I saw this book at the bookstore, picked it up, went, “Hmm,” looked at the table of contents (structured in topical sections in a Q&A style), walked away, came back, and ultimately bought it. One of the questions: “Aren’t I too young for menopause?” Considering that the average age of menopause, at least in the US, is 45 to 55 and you can experience perimenopause symptoms up to 10 years before menopause, it is not out of the realm of possibility that people can be in perimenopause in their late 30s.

Review #insixwords: A good primer about menopausal transition.

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Listen, they’re not lying when they say this is an unfiltered and honest guide. Carol King’s voice is a large part of the reason why I ultimately bought this book. Menopause or perimenopause isn’t a topic that a lot of people talk about, and she is warm, validating, and not afraid to share her experience—good and bad. Also, there is a list of over 90 perimenopause symptoms in the book.

Which, rude. Hormones should not be allowed to cause so much chaos.

I read this over the course of a few weeks, but it’s easy to pick up and put down as needed—or even skip around. But there are a few takeaways that continue to come up throughout:

• Find yourself a doctor who is menopause-educated. Remember that list of 90 symptoms? Perimenopause is way more than just hot flashes and irregular periods, and a doctor that can help you navigate them is so important. (Also, you’re not going to experience all 90 symptoms. Just so you know.)

• Give yourself grace and take care of yourself.

• You have plenty of options for managing and coping with perimenopause symptoms.

• There’s a lot of shame and secrecy around the menopausal transition, but there shouldn’t be.

For someone who’s not educated about menopause, I found this book to be a good starting point. King’s bio says that she’s a “passionate menopause awareness advocate” and that shines through in this book. King herself doesn’t have a medical background, but the book has a foreword from a menopause doctor. (A neat publishing tool to let readers know that an expert has reviewed—and endorsed—the content of the book.)

My notes for people considering this book: While this is a validating book, it’s written for the cisgender woman. It didn’t give me the ick the way that some books have, but anyone who’s nonbinary or trans going through perimenopause, this might not be your book. Likewise, the section on sex focuses primarily on penetrative sex, with questions like, “Is his penis getting bigger or is my vagina shrinking?” There are frequent references to food, diet, and how it can affect us, so if that’s triggering, proceed with caution. (It doesn’t advocate for diet culture as far as I know, but I am also not as educated about that.)

Recommendation: This probably won’t be the only book I read on menopause, but it was a good one to start with. I learned things. I feel more equipped to deal with what’s coming (what’s already here?). Read it because you or someone you love will go through menopause.

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